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Idiot Box

September 7, 2008 – 7:02 pm

Following my last posting, Jo-anne thinks Richard influences me too much. Well then, before Rich returns I shall counterstrike and mark my scent here by plastering pictures of hot hot celebrities. Did I hear Richard go “oh shit?”

Alrighty - I’ll spare the visuals of my imaginary . For now. But I have to take it out on something. On cable… the CSI franchise… Gil Grissom has resigned and Mac Taylor just got over his 333 story arc… But why in the name of forensic, aren’t you, Horatio “H” Caine, and your excessive bad one-liners and aviator shades fidgeting,  certifiably dead yet?

I watch too much CSI and CSI: NY but I pulled the tracks on CSI: Miami during Season 3. Blah. Apologies to fans of the series but me thinks the team’s just not holding it together. They just had to kill Speed (the actor Rory Cochrane wanted out - wise) the one cool guy with the power to negate the over-the-top antics of the other over-zealous members. Throw in Horatio’s sunglasses of justice and awful Caineism and it’s so bad that it’s so bad. CSI and CSI: NY are awesome but for the love of crime scene test kits I cannot comprehend the tackiness of the Miami spin-off. So tacky Michael Mann’s Miami Vice deserves Oscar and Berlin Bear awards in comparison. But if you are complaining that Vegas’ too dark and NY’s too cold, may then I suggest Dexter? Also set in sunny Miami-Dade only with good dialogue and waaaaaay less aviator shades. Michael C. Hall stars as the titular cuddly but utterly Freudian case study serial killer.

Click to embiggen.

Riley | Uncategorized | Comments (0)

22 minutes for the bus.. OMG! The Numbers!!

September 6, 2008 – 11:23 am

After a slow and crappy week, one would think it’d be nice to get home fast. If one owns a vehicle, and can afford the rising fuel prices and ERP charges, the journey home can be a therapeutic one with the right CD selection. For those who can’t afford to drive, the public transport system (MRT, LRT, bus, your legs) is the only way home. Fortunately the sophisticated real-time bus arrival information panels installed at some bus stops make taking the bus slightly more bearable by letting commuters know just how freaking long before the next bus arrives.

Like last evening, the information panel opposite Bishan MRT station indicated that Bus No. 156 will take another 22 minutes to arrive. The weather was considerably cool but one would imagine it really would be a freaking joy to wait sweatily in the normally humid and hot weather when the next bus takes 22 minutes. And if it was raining cats and dogs it would be freaking romantic until you get drenched. One can only imagine how packed and noisy (thanks, TVMobile) the bus would be as it picks up other passengers en route in the next 22 minutes. And what can one do in 22 minutes while waiting? Plug in the iPod? Read a chapter of a book? SMS a friend (I’ll be 22 minutes late)? Stare at the state-of-the-art information panel and silently will the numbers to jump? That was when it struck me.

The numbers are SBS Transit-SMRT’s version of QuickPick lottery.

I mean it has to be. The six numbers on the right panel indicated the arrival time for three bus services but I’m also nominally sure it is some secret QuickPick service perhaps to be launched in conjunction with the integrated resorts. Like how the set of six mysterious Numbers keep showing up in the hit TV series LOST, our public transport system has its own Numbers too! There is no other explanation for this! Six random numbers! And they are reasonably random and well-spaced out! 4, 16, 19, 22, 32, 39! I mean while you would totally expect the bus services to be increased in frequency and arrival reliability given the government’s “encouragement” for the public to use public transport, you wouldn’t bet on numbers like 1,2,3,4,5,6 would you??

*Disclaimer: while this post may appear to be written in a manner that encourages betting or more specifically, betting on the six numbers above, the author totally neither confirm or deny encouraging betting or specifically using the six numbers above. However, in the event of a actual windfall from the numbers above, the author is not averse to accepting a little gift, like a bag of “peanuts.”

Riley | Uncategorized | Comments (2)

In the army…

September 3, 2008 – 11:54 am

One day you’re in, and the next day you’re out. That, or you’re in until you’re like 50. Which is like 120 in gay years. Or so I’ve been told. Fortunately brave brave soldiers in the SAF will get to look better with the new combat uniforms.

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The new, improved Army combat uniform
TODAYOnline, 3 September 2008

FROM January next year, some soldiers in the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF) will don new combat uniforms that should not only be more comfortable, but which will also make them harder to spot in the jungle, by day and by night.

The new design uses small, complex pixelised patterns — similar to that on the United States Marine Corps’ fatigues — which tests have proven enhances camouflage capability at short and long distances.

It retains the current black, green and brown colour scheme of the SAF combat uniform used for the past 25 years, but in different shades.

The new fabric allows perspiration to evaporate more quickly, and the uniform is also designed to remove pressure points on the body and protect the wearer against abrasion from the use of body armour.

The new uniform will be phased in over three years, starting next year with fresh recruits, active personnel and some National Servicemen.

Only NSmen in their 7th to 9th In-Camp Training years will not receive it. TEO XUANWEI

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First of all, it’s pixelated! Which means it’s 2.0 new media-friendly! Or that SAF is wayyyy behind the Americans in uniform aesthetics. And new media. Now we move on to the sophisticated deconstruction and analysis of the new uniform:

  • “combat uniforms that should not only be more comfortable” - operative word being “should”. Like how the STTA fiasco should not have happened.
  • “make them harder to spot in the jungle” - perhaps the one redeeming feature. To avoid arrows.
  • “It retains the current black, green and brown colour scheme … used for the past 25 years, but in different shades” - more of the same. Probably same threadcount too. Hooray.
  • “The new fabric allows perspiration to evaporate more quickly” - jesus, why couldn’t Singapore be located in Iceland? Or Norway? And “new fabric”? Less threadcount???
  • “the uniform is also designed to remove pressure points on the body” - OSIM was not involved in the re-design, and they “should” not.
  • “starting next year with fresh recruits, active personnel and some National Servicemen.” - crash dummies


In memorium - old SAF uniform

Riley | Uncategorized | Comments (3)

Insert CashCard, Thank You

August 30, 2008 – 3:30 am

Now that Richard is 10,000,000,000,000 feet above sea level, I have taken control of this blog.. bwahahahaha….. And my first order of business is to sell out!!! Banking on Prime Minister Lee’s implicit endorsement I am in the midst of closing a multi-gazillion dollar deal with The Senior Partners of Wolfram & Hart LTA. The deal goes like this: for each ERP gantry-IU CashCard transaction, I will draw in X% of the gantry fee (where X = a prime integral picked totally randomly each time). In turn, I will design and build maritime ERP gantries that rule the seven seas…. paddling a sampan at peak hour? $2.50!!! bwahahahaha…..

I want to say I’m sorry to have to do this, but after going through a long tiring day without surfing the web, I paranoidly jump to the conclusion that the internet gods are after me. I need the money to acquire Google and strike back. I can sleep now.

Expect more diabolical outbursts as Richard continues to eat extremely fresh sashimi and ramen.

-riley

Riley | Uncategorized | Comments (3)

my last goodbye (for now)

August 29, 2008 – 11:04 pm

Am at the airport now. Will board the plane in 20 minutes.

Just a last post to say goodbye!~

Had a hot chocolate at coffee bean, hope this doesn’t screw up my stomach!

*Aside to riley, doesn’t this remind you of BH’s twits?

wahahahhahahhaahhaa.

Sad. Desperate. Alcoholic.

Time to whip out the cat pic.

Richard and Adeline, Out!

vinyarb | Random Musings | Comments (1)

Introducing Rileytown

August 29, 2008 – 10:50 am

Some of you may know that vinyarb is going roadtripping in Japan.

But that doesn’t mean its a reason for you to stop coming here!

You see, while i’m gone, I’ve gotten the help of Rileytown to keep you guys entertained.

An ex colleague, and more importantly, a good friend of mine, Rileytown and vinyarb have a good synergy and creative chemistry (as evidenced by the many brilliant ideas generated via msn conversations, that has not borne fruit {yet})

So yes, I believe he will keep you all very entertained while I take a brief respite and recharge in the hot springs of Hokkaido.

See you when I get back!

 

vinyarb | Random Musings | Comments (0)

China’s iPhone girl becomes a celebrity

August 28, 2008 – 8:04 pm


 

 

Described as a “beautiful mistake”, this single photo in an iPhone belonging to a brit is now known as the “iPhone girl”.

It was accidentally left in the phone after the assembly line tested that the camera was functioning.

Other customers are joking online about returning their iphones, cos it was not pre-loaded with their iPhone girls.

Apple was also known to be understanding about this situation, and everything seems under control.

 

I was just thinking… would things have been much worse if the girl hadn’t been this cute?

What do you think?

Article was in TODAY, 28 Aug 2008

 

vinyarb | Juicy Scandals | Comments (1)

ERP is to enforce road safety now???

August 28, 2008 – 1:16 pm

Am I missing something here? Installing ERP gantries in the underground section of the KPE is for SAFETY???

How safe is that if I were to e-brake because I forgot to insert my cashcard and the car behind plunges into mine?

How safe is that if people deliberately slow down to wait for the change in timing and price of the ERP, thereby causing MORE jams?

Oh! and correct me if i’m wrong, but… wouldn’t an accident in a traffic jam situation be safer than an accident where the vehicles are travelling on high speeds? Because the cars would have been travelling slowly, and any accident would be more like a bumper scratch?

But i guess the more important question is:
Will this question come out in the PSLE examinations?

 

 

Report on TODAY, 28 Aug

16 gantries on KPE for safety

Congestion can exacerbate risks in long tunnels: Teo

 


Tan Hui Leng


huileng@mediacorp.com.sg

 

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WHEN it opens on Sept 20, the Kallang-Paya Lebar Expressway (KPE) will have 16 new Electronic Road Pricing (ERP) gantries along its 12 kilometres, of which 9km are underground.

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This is because congestion in long underground tunnels poses safety concerns, said Mr Teo Ser Luck, Senior Parliamentary Secretary of Transport.

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Responding to a question from Mr Baey Yam Keng (MP, Tanjong Pagar GRC) on the installation of the ERP gantries even before the KPE (picture) is fully operational, Mr Teo said they are part of the infrastructure of the expressway to ensure that authorities “can act in a timely manner to prevent congestion from building up so as to enhance the safety of motorists.”

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“Incidents occurring in long underground tunnels are more dangerous than if they occur on surface roads … If it involves a fire, vehicles in the tunnel may be trapped and the severity of the incident will multiply manifold if there is traffic congestion in there,” he said.

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This rationale, he explained, is “unique” to the KPE due to safety concerns and is not applied to arterial roads or other expressways on the surface.

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But there are no plans for now to set up ERP gantries in the underground portion of the Central Expressway, as it does not pose as much of a safety risk as the KPE.

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However, they will be installed and activated if the safety situation changes or travel speeds fall below the threshold level of 45kph, Mr Teo said.

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Mr Liang Eng Hwa (MP, Holland-Bukit Timah GRC) asked why it was necessary to impose ERP charges on Saturdays, and if there was a need to extend the cordoning strategy to Saturdays as well.

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Mr Teo replied that in the Bugis-Marina Centre Cordon, for which Saturday ERP was implemented in July, the volume of traffic has since fallen by about 20 per cent on average and travelling speeds raised by more than 20kph.

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And since the implementation at the Orchard Cordon in October 2005, the number of vehicles using the Orchard area as a by-pass route has fallen from 30 to 20 per cent, he added.

vinyarb | Unbelievable | Comments (0)