vinyarb- you just have to read it

Hey guys! Remember Snooki? You know... Snooki! From Jersey Shore? Never heard of Jersey Shore neither? Well, neither have I. Anyway, she's this short, fat, ugly Z-list* celebrity on the show. And this is the story of how she got her Gucci.

On the show's 1st season (Yes, unfortunately, there is a 2nd), Snooki had been seen holding, no, clinging on to a Coach bag wherever she went. But recently, she had been seen with a new bag in tow, a Gucci. Now, what happened? Has her celeb status grown so much that Gucci sent her free bags in the hopes that she will carry them and lift Gucci's brand image?

Hmmm.. not exactly it seems. Industry is rife with speculation that Coach, in an effort to "unbrand" itself with Snooki, sneakily sent Gucci (and very possibly other luxury brands) bags to her, hoping that one of them will catch her fancy, and extricate herself from Coach.

They are calling this maneuver the Preemptive Product Placement or PEPP.

Brilliant, ain't it?

Ball's in your court, Gucci!

* which was why I was hesitant to file this under "Celeb News"

So, right before Lindsay Lohan gets carted off to jail, she drops a final bomb on us via GQ. That she's a shape-shifting alien, and that jail has nothing on her!

Want proof?

Here it is!

See her giving us an Inception-worthy mindfuck with her moving her navel around like its a detachable accessory!

Right off the bat, she teases us with a "Look! No Navel!" shot.

She then follows up with an almost impossibly high navel way above the waist.

Finally, her transformation to human form was complete with a more normally placed navel just above the panty.

I am afraid.

In pushing out individual movies such as Ironman, The Incredible Hulk, upcoming Thor and Captain America films, Marvel has been planting the seeds of an Avengers film, in which these superheros form a team to fight injustice.

If you've been staying back after the credits of those films, you'd have seen Marvel teasing us with Thor at the end of Ironman 2, The opening montage of Hulk showed a newspaper clip of Stark Industries, and a deleted opening sequence also featured a frozen captain america being hulk-smashed out of his deep slumber.

So Marvel had been doing a great job aligning these characters such that they now share the same universe. Both Thor and Captain America are to be released in the summer of 2011, and the following year, they will unleash The Avengers upon us.

They have also all but confirmed Joss Whedon as Director of The Avengers. Then last week, Marvel President Kevin Feige issued a statement saying Norton will not be involved in The Avengers cos he wasn't "collaborative" enough.

But according to Edward Norton's (who played Bruce Banner/The Hulk) publicist, Marvel had invited Edward back to discuss The Avengers with Joss Whedon. They then made a financial offer to Norton, and after several weeks of civil negotiations, they went the other way instead.

With this revelation, it seems like Marvel's decision was made purely on financial considerations. Add this with the rumour that Joaquin Phoenix has been offered the role of Bruce Banner, and it becomes clear that the "collaborative spirit" excuse was just that. An excuse. Since when has Joaquin (no offense) been construed as a collaborative actor and team player? He's as perfectionistic as they come.

Since then, Edward Norton's come out with his own statement released on his official facebook page as follows:

I think the statement was a very gracious one, which did not directly attack Marvel, but only expressed disappointment in not being involved in the film.

Now I've always been a fan of Ed, and I thought his portrayal of Bruce Banner was very good, and it would be a waste for Marvel to drop him on The Avengers, especially after they've been doing such a good job tying these films together.

So i'm jumping on Team Edward (ahem) on this.

A facebook page has been set up to petition for Edward to be back on the Avengers project. Its almost futile, as the statement has already been released, but if you love his work at all, show your support for him by joining the page yes?

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=102021636518469&ref=mf

What's the first word that comes to mind when you think of Keanu Reeves? Definitely "Whoa".

Jokes and jibes aside, Keanu seems to be a really, really nice guy. He's been known to give Harleys to the production crew, buying perfect strangers breakfast, picking up hitchhikers among others. When in conversations with people who don't know of him, he refers to himself as a struggling musician, rather than an A-list celebrity.

Little wonder then, that a seemingly random paparazzi shot of him having a sandwich and looking forlorn has captured the hearts and imagination of the internet. Thinking that he might be depressed and lonely, the internet kicked into action, at first with comments pouring out of the woodwork on the various kind acts he did.

Soon, it spiraled and led to the creation of a site, thankyoukeanu, dedicated to sharing stories of the good man. The site also includes links to donate to the Leukemia Research Foundation and American Cancer Society (Keanu's sister is suffering from Leukemia).

The lad's also had a hard knock life, based on the "Keanu Facts" gathered on 4chan:

• His first name means “cool breeze over the mountains”
• Dad abandoned the family when he was 3, never reconnected with him
• Mom was a showgirl
• Long string of 5>6 stepfathers, constantly moving
• Different high schools
• Dyslexia
• Had a keen interest in hockey but the Olympic dream ended after an injury
• Dropped out of high school to become an actor
• Daughter died stillborn
• Girlfriend died in car crash
• Close friend died of … drugs?
• Never married
• Avoids most relationships
• Turns down big roles if he believes the character’s too violent
• Took a 90% pay cut on his salary on The Replacements (2000) so Gene Hackman could be cast. Previously, he had deferred $2 million of his salary so that Al Pacino could be cast on The Devil’s Advocate (1997)
• Gives most of his earnings to charity and the backstage people who help on the set
• His best friend is his sister
• Sister dying of Leukemia
• His remaining money probably pays for her medical bills

With all these mounting challenges, he could easily have gone rogue, or grown cold and bitter inside, hating humanity to the deepest depths of the sea. But instead, he turned right round and became the nicest person you could ever know next to Mother Teresa. So yes, when that photo appeared, everyone showed concern, because deep down, he is a really nice human being. And for all the love he has given, we just wanna show our appreciation.

We may have missed "Cheer up Keanu" day this year (it falls on 15th June), but Keanu, I promise you, we'll be back next year.

~Asia loves you, Keanu!~

PS: The internet is not as bad as we like to think, Sure, there's porn (and its free), but there's genuine good that can come of it too, like this article shows.

My favourite Gryffindor, the babe with the stick, Emma Watson, was recently spotted at the Glastonbury Music Festival looking rad, and here are some photos of her looking fucking A.

MAGIC.

I so wanna go to brown and be her drama classmate.