one day i wake up, i'm 30

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Written by Richard Tan

Wednesday, 02 December 2009 15:09

Apologies on the extended non-posting. I was grappling with being 30. You know how when you were young, like 28, and never ever thought the day will come when you turn 30? You were wrong.

I've been 30 for a few days now, and i can assure you, it sucks.

Your metabolism drops tremendously, but nobody cares to tell you. So you keep eating the same amount of food. You conscientiously do your exercises (for me, it was brisk walking to the door; raising arms; holding the knob; twisting it; and maintain brisk pace to the toilet stall), but the inches around your waist keep adding up.

This happens till one day, you realise you no longer have a waistline. Instead, you have a bulgeline, which gets more pronounced when you slouch forward.

When you were 29, you could easily reach the tv remote by bending forward and reaching your arm out. These days i need to call out to the wife to switch the channels.

When you're between milestone ages, you can say "i'm in my 20s". It sounds so cool. "Hey, check him out. He's in his 20s."

There was an air of mystery surrounding me. People go "what is he? 25? 28?" "Can't be. He looks young. I'll bet he's a 23."

Now, i'm just... 30.